DEAR DEIDRE: MY lover invited me up to her bridal suite to have sex on her wedding day. She still had her wedding dress on and her new husband was downstairs. Our

DEAR DEIDRE: MY lover invited me up to her bridal suite to have sex on her wedding day. She still had her wedding dress on and her new husband was downstairs.

Our affair was extremely passionate from the start. We met through work just over a year ago. I am very senior in the firm and she was one of many women working under me.

 My lover had sex with me on her wedding day
Getty - Contributor
My lover had sex with me on her wedding day

I fancied her as soon as she joined my team. I even told her so. I made sure she got a promotion and we became closer. She is 24, I am 46.

After a night out with colleagues to celebrate landing a big contract she invited me back to her flat. She was engaged but her fiancé was away. We got really close, had more drinks and of course one thing led to another and we had sex.

She was great in bed and very complimentary about me, too. We did not discuss what had happened at work but ended up in bed together again when there was another opportunity.

We started having sex regularly — sometimes in the car, sometimes at her place, and even in the meeting room at work with the door locked.

 She invited me up to her bridal suite as her new husband was downstairs
Getty - Contributor
She invited me up to her bridal suite as her new husband was downstairs

I was surprised when she invited me to her wedding — and even more surprised when she whispered to me during the reception that there would be a chance to be together upstairs when she went to change.

I had misgivings but I turned up anyway and there she was, still in her wedding dress, and pulling me towards the bed.

I could not go through with it, not with her new husband so near. I left and went back to the reception. She later thanked me.

We continued to have sex afterwards but then she said we had to end our affair because she must look after her marriage.

That was a month ago but now it’s obvious she is seeing another guy from work who is around her age. I asked her what she was up to and she told me it was none of my business and to get over my jealousy.

Now she rarely speaks to me. I feel used and miss her. Seeing her flirting with someone else is unbearable at times and I still yearn to have her back with me.

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SOME of us seem to fall for the wrong type of partner again and again.

Often it is because our upbringing hasn’t led us to believe we deserve a ­genuinely caring partner or helped us recognise one. My e-leaflet Finding The Right Partner For You can help you turn this around.

For a copy, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or private message me on my DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s a bit rich to complain of feeling used when you were having sex with someone half your age who was engaged and then married to another man.

Avoid her as much as you can and certainly avoid discussing her love life and your own.

Make up your mind that the workplace is for work. Getting sexually involved with colleagues, especially those much younger than you, can lead to serious accusations of harassment.

My e-leaflet Moving On will help you free yourself from regrets and build the sort of social life that can lead to meeting a partner who is free to commit – if you are really ready.


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Get in touch with Deidre today

Got a problem? Send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

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Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.

Man's mistress gatecrashes his wedding day dressed as a bride

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