My life in sex: ‘She was turned on by blind guys’

The blind man who dated a ‘disability devotee’

I am a blind guy in my late 20s. A few years ago, I joined a “disability devotee” website out of curiosity and met a

I am a blind guy in my late 20s. A few years ago, I joined a “disability devotee” website out of curiosity and met a lovely, attractive woman. She was turned on by blind guys, and loved to ask questions about how I saw the world: how I navigated, how I conceptualised space and shape. Things eventually turned sexual between us, and I started sending her a few pictures – me holding a cane or reading braille. She liked ones that weren’t fully in focus, the fact that I couldn’t tell was exciting to her.

We eventually agreed to meet. She wanted to see how I moved around, cooked and cleaned. This might sound demeaning, but it wasn’t. She was respectful and genuine, and never belittled my way of doing things, or made me feel like a lesser person. It just happened that the way I saw the world and solved problems turned her on. She even asked me once if I wanted to “touch her face”, since blind guys did that on TV all the time (a misleading stereotype). In the end, age, distance and circumstances separated us, but I look back on our time together with a great deal of fondness. She is still the only sighted girl I have ever been with.

A lot of disabled people have bad encounters with devotees. Guys who message random blind girls on social media and ask about their visual impairment are not uncommon. But having a kink for disabled people isn’t wrong, as long as devotees remember we are people, and just as deserving of love, affection and sexual desire as any able-bodied person. If that sexual desire is enhanced by the fact that we are sitting in wheelchairs or holding canes… Really, what’s the harm?

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